Where do I start?!?!

So much has happened in the last few weeks...  I'll try to start at the beginning, but forgive me if I jump around a bit... LOL
Max started speech therepy with Heather who comes to our house once a week. With what she has taught me and with Max enjoying the praise he gets from talking, he's doing so great! He calms down from being frustreated much easier now. He uses his words sometimes without being prompted, too, which is way cool!! He still likes to make messes....

I got my teeth fixed.  I love my dentist!  I had no pain at all during the procedure.  I can smile again and no longer resemble white trash.  I know it affected my self esteem, but had no idea just how badly it was.  Feeling this awesome got me to go running again.  I used to run when I was younger, but with KJ and Max the past few years, I didn't have any extra energy to "exercise".  I went a few times and then got my wonderful sunburn which I'll talk about further down....  I have a hard time with the dentist, soo I have to take Valium before I go to help calm me down.  Thing is, they make me feel yucky for the rest of the day.  No motivation, no energy, no nothing on the days I have dental work.  Oh, then there was the day I took the valium and went to the dentist's office only to find out I was on the wrong week on my calendar.  My appt was the following week... duh!

I have only had one other sunburn worse than this one.  That was when  my cousins and I went rafting.  We thought we'd be smart and not get off the river where everyone else gets off.  We were going to float down to where grandma lived right on the river.  People get off in certain places for a reason.... because after that area, the current goes to the bottom of the river and the top is pretty motionless.  We were stuck paddling for hours!  Trish ended up in the ER getting fluids and treated for burns, Wendy is half Mexican so she didn't burn as bad as I did.  I burned everywhere ( I was still skinny enought o wear a bikini then) and couldn't even sleep at night laying on the sheets let alone wear clothes.  i should have gone for medical care as well, but didn't.  So this recent burn wasn't quite so bad, but it was stupid.  I have avoided the sun for years now.  Once you have one version of cancer, you try to avoid the other kinds.  I used to go out in the sun and never worry about it - I tanned!  My grandmother is full blooded Potruguese, so I have an olive tint to my skin thanks to her.  But after paleness for so long, I burned this bad in just a few hours.  My shoulders are all that's left of the burn, and they have a weird giraffe print to them where some skin has peeled and some hasn't.  It's so gross. 

So you can imagine how much got done the past few weeks between the groggy Valium days and the burn don't touch me days.  My house looks awful. Sure it got picked up and basic dishes/trash done regularly, but there is crap everywhere that belongs somewhere else.  No organization anywhere.  And the kids room - oh, my... Max and Kaitlynn did a good job on it.  SO I am determined to have the house cleaned and the laundry caught up by Friday afternoon when I go take the stress test.  Oh, yeah, the stress test for my heart...  *hanging head down*

Yesterday morning my head was pounding.  While making food for the kids' breakfast, pain went through my inner bicept area of my arm and down to my hand.  It made my hand throb for a few minutes.  It went away and I didn't think anything of it.  Then Matt came home from work so that he didn't work in the heat.  he works 1/2 shift in the early a.m. and then the other 1/2 of his shift in the later p.m. to beat the heat... this is Sacramento after all.  He and I had a misunderstanding and I got mad and yelled.  The pain in my head and my arm were back and hurt a lot more.  It lasted for almost a 1/2 hour.  Then I was ok again as long as I stayed calm.  I also felt lousy and tired all day.  So I knew something was wrong.  I called my mother to come sit with the kids.  She rushed right over and even brought my Grammy.  I had Matt drop me off at the ER on his way back to work and figured he'd get his second shift in and be on his way home by the time I was done in the ER.  I didn't think anything was seriously wrong like a heart attack, but something was off.  On the way there Matt and I started bickering again... we are married for 7 yrs now and getting that itch... so again the pain started.  My chest got tight and hurt a little, the arm pain was throbbing all the way down, and I couldn't catch my breath.  We arrived at the ER just about at the worst of it and they rushed my back for an immediate EKG and chest xrays, bloodwork, the works within the first 30 minutes I was there.  My heart looked fine, but my blood pressure was not.  The doctor can in a few times and redid the EKG and it kept looking fine.  What a relief!  But the blood pressure was slowly getting better abd he said they cuff went off when I was sleeping and my BP was normal finally.  The longer I satyed there and stayed calm, the better I was doing.  He told me to go home and stay calm... I laughed at him.  With a teenager who is such a challenge, two preschoolers ( wow -  I cant say toddlers anymore - that hurts) anyways, and a marriage that feels it's is on shaky ground, financial problems, Max's speech therepy, preschool enrollment that has more paperwork than buying a house, family issues (actually my family this time around), appointment after appointment... and he wants me to stay calm.  HELLO - my normal self without any life problems isn't even calm!!  The doctor told me to do what I needed to do regarless in order to stay calm.  Take walks, run, drink, read, write, all the things that I like to do... and the ok from my doctor to have more than one drink a day HAHAHA that was great!  He admitted it was one of his stress relievers to have a high ball in the evening when he comes home from a hard day in the ER, too, so I don't feel so bad.

Now to see if we get the boat back in time for the 4th....

And she did it again....

is what you see walking by...

then looking close...

And lifting the basket just a little, we find....

She is just like her Dad... they can fall asleep anywhere!!!

Several days ago, Kaitlynn gave me a heart attack and disappeared.  I checked outside and called for her in front and back, I searched under beds and in laundry baskets she likes to hid in, and even in the bathtub where she learned to hide from Dad during Hide and Seek.  I was looking all over the house for her and was about ready to call the Police and Matt.  I thought I needed to look in the playroom just one last time... here is what I had been seeing each time I walked through that room....

For some reason, I thought to pick up the top pillow... I have no idea why, I just knew I had to check that before calling in the cops and freaking Matt out, too.  With the flash on the camera this time, you can see what I found....

No wonder she didnt answer me when I was calling for her!  She had fallen asleep after hiding!

Max has learned "I don't want to!", "No Way!", and my favorite, "I love you Mommy!"  Guess you have to take the good and the bad.... <3

Major Anxiety

Ok - I don't do pain well.  I don't do shots either.  Needless to say, I hate the dentist.  He is a very nice, gentle, calm man that I see now, and I like him very much, I just hate everything he does as his job.  I had such a hard time with the exam and xrays, he prescribed a valium for me to take the night before the next appointment with him and an additional pill one hour before the appointment.  He said we'll start there.... doesn't give me a whole lot of confidence... I am thinking we will have to do the gas on top of the valiums... I am so freaking anxious about tomorrows extraction and cleaning, even the valium isn't making me tired!  I don't want to go!!!!  We have several appointments set an each hinges on the success of the one before it, so I have to go!  I just keep reminding myself that I want to smile again.  I want to actually look happy in the pictures taken with my children, my husband, and my family...  I want to leave better looking memories for my kids... I had a great smile and I want it back!

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Speaking of family... I have to acknowledge to everyone who will read this, how wonderful my mother is.  She has really stepped up to being the mom I thought I had missed out on.  She helps with the kids, she picks up and drops off any one of us as needed, she rearranges her schedule to suit my needs, she is a reality check when most wouldn't dare say it to me, and she is so much support that I never expected.  I had learned to not see what I was missing, but now, I know what I was missing and am so thrilled to have it after all.  Thank you Mom, for all that you do, for who you have become, and for being my mom.  I wouldn't have survived these last few months without all of your help, love, and support.

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Matt opened the mail today!!!  CRAP!!! He found his Father's Day present in the mail and couldn't help himself.  He just had to open it.  I was so mad hahahahaha!  But I am doing better at getting over it, and now am planning on helping the kids make presents for him.  He loves those gifts the best.  Yes, even better than the Hop Lover's Guide that he opened for his beer brewing.... barely better *laughing*

Yeay! It's Friday!

Matt took today off so he could do the breaks on the van and get it smoged.  Later he is going to Stockton to test out the boat.  The kids and I are home cleaning, playing, and watching Alice In Wonderland.  I loved it when Kaitlynn said, "It doesn't matter if Alice is big or little.  She's still Alice inside." Awww... she is so sweet... when she wants to be!

Been debating back and forth with my long time friend Joe, on Facebook today and last night.  His view is so male and I just dont get it. Usually I agree with Joe and take the hard line, strict parenting, and shut up and get it done attitude.  But this is a homeschooled boy that doesnt play very well, getting picked on by the better players, parents like JOE saying he shouldn't be playing at all a sport with such a high fail ratio, and that only gets to be around these other kids when he goes to practice and games.  Let him decide if he wants to play, let him learn to get a thick skin to the other kids' critism, and give him a chance to learn some life lessons that he probably won't get to learn anywhere else!  He can't play because he sucks??!?!  He is 11 years old!!!  Every kid should have a chance to be on a team and play wether they are good or not to learn what being a team is about.  To learn what hard work and dedication it takes to do some things.  To enjoy playing even if he is a little afraid of the ball... Just feel like Joe is being the bully that we all hated in grade school because none of us were good enough to play on his team.  Reminds me of the movie with Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson where the soldier gets killed and it ends up because he was weak.  I love the black guys line, that they did do something wrong, they were supposed to protect those kind of people, the ones who cant protect themselves.  Smack the crap out of me if I become a parent who wants a kid off my kids team because he sucks!

On a lighter note, above are pics of KJ and Max in the Coach on the way to SoCal last month.

New Blogwear in Honor of our Wine Tour this weekend!!!

I am very excited to be going on a private wine tour this weekend at Todd Taylor Winery!  Going to have some great company and a babysitter has come through so my hubby gets to actually join me in an adult afternoon!!!  WOOHOO!!! 
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With money being so scarce these days, I have resorted to extreme coupon hunting.  But as embarrassing as it can be to use a coupon for all 7 items at the Target checkout... I saved $23.00 off of a $50 shopping trip!!  I know what I need, I check the product website for Manufacturer Coupons, I google the product name +coupons and find some on other websites, and I have registered for free with several coupon collecting websites. I even found one that adds the coupon you choose straight to your supermarkets club card!  Hey, it's saving us much needed money these days!!!
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Max is starting speech therepy next week.  Our wonderful worker at Alta Regional set it up for him to receive therepy in our home once a week until he turns three.  Her name is Heather and she is through the Easter Seals organization.  She sounds very sweet on the phone.  Having the same person each week will help Max get comfortable enough with someone to not have to get through that stranger shyness each week, so he will be able to focus on learning instead. I am so excited for him to be on the road to talking!!  Oh, he and Kaitlynn will be attending full time preschool in August when school starts up!!  KJ cant start Kindergarten because her birthday is past the cut off.  That's ok with us, just more PreK prep for keeping her ahead of the game.  Both in school full time.... oh, they are getting so big! *sniffle sniffle*

Free Red Box Movies

I found this website online that gave a few codes for free RedBox movies.  I tried the "breakroom" and "dvdonme" codes and both worked.  I did use seperate machines to use one code on each... don't know if that matters....  just thought to share!!  Enjoy!
http://www.insideredbox.com/redbox-codes/

Back to Blogging

I stalled out on writing my book(s) and still need that daily writing fix, so I am going to see if blogging cures the itch for now.  I keep getting caught up in the writing because when I type and can't stand to see the mistakes, and I go back and fix them immediately.  Unfortunately, this usually messes up the creative flow and I lose where I was going with the scene.  Matt downloaded for me a software program that types what I speak, unfortunately it is not a very good program and doesn't hear very well. *laughing*
I think I have also stalled out on the writing due to stress and chaos reigning in our home these days.  Money is barely coming in when you compare it to the bills, Mike is having some teenager struggles and it's touch and go with him working on them - typical teen UGHH, finally having decent medical insurance, we have at least one of us going to the doctor each week, and sometimes two or three appointments a week, and Max is very frustrated these days as he cannot communicate what he wants or needs very well.  Then add in my dental appointments, football fundraising meetings, and Max's speech therepy set-up appointments, and you have a full week!  To make it worse, we have only one car right now causing us to juggle Matt's work with all the other stuff... stress and chaos reign and creative juices stop flowing or flow out of whack. Yes, I'm whinning. 

So this weekend we have a private wine tour scheduled, and no sitter.  I will be calling in a few alternatives and pray they don't already have plans.  But this will be the first "day off" we've had together, or at all, from parental duties or work in about three weeks.  So I must find someone!!  It will be with some people we used to go to church with, who we haven't been able to connect with since leaving that church.  It will be great to see them and catch up!

Testing out the layout and templates...

lets see if I can get this to work...